5 Things We do to Sabotage Our Peace

20140523_181546If having somewhat of a stress free life is one of your goals there are things you must consider when it’s time to deal with some of life’s occurrences. Stress is inevitably one of those things in life you will have to deal with on somewhat of a daily basis. As always mentioned, when we try to live a peaceful life it benefits us in more ways than one, including our health.

There are a few things that we do without realizing how it is impacting us and our journey to happiness. There are things that we are aware of that is sabotaging our true happiness, however, we ignore it or put dealing with it on the back burner. Some things may need a plan or inner strength other things are fairly simple to tweak or eliminate from our lives.

This list compiles five things that you may be doing or engaging in that is sabotaging your peace on a daily basis and ways to work through and or even eliminate these things completely.
Put on your seat belt and prepare to re-evaluate your routine.

1. Lack of goals and ambition- In modern society, we stress being successful whether male or female. However, success is not a guarantee of bringing us happiness if we are not doing what we love or something that brings some type of fulfillment. When you have goals in your life, whether it is buying a new home, starting a family, or building your own art gallery, it gives you something to strive for. When you don’t have your eyes on some type of goal and you lack ambition, life can be dull. When you lack a vision for your life, what else are you doing? Chances are, you are going about a daily routine that is mundane and unfulfilling. The minute you begin to have things to strive for you can avoid the negative feeling of having no direction in life. Everyone benefits from having a dream or a vision for their life. Achieving our goals bring us a sense of satisfaction and gives us confidence in our abilities.

2. Lack of healthy eating or exercise- You don’t have to be a gym rat or a vegetarian to achieve good health per se. However, when we at least attempt to make better food choices or engage in light to moderate exercise it improves our health pretty dramatically. In America, a lot of food is processed and some foods labeled as organic can still be questionable. It is important to pay attention to the things we put into our bodies and take on a mindset of building our bodies and immune systems up. When our bodies are healthy and functioning as they should, our moods improve and our brain functioning improves. Several scientific studies back this up. When you’re slugged down from unhealthy eating, we put ourselves at risk for health conditions that can cause anxiety and stress, not only for us, but for our families. When we take care of ourselves, we also have the benefit of seeing the results in better looking skin, healthy moving joints, disease free organs, and better looking bodies. If you are struggling with fatigue, getting sick easily, or frequent mood changes it could be what you’re eating (a lot of food contains hormones). You may benefit from changing your diet and increasing your intake of nutritious foods. We as a nation consume way too much sugar which has caused a lot of unnecessary sickness and obesity.

3. Toxic Relationships- Are you currently in a relationship that is a bit toxic? Meaning, you are mostly unhappy but maybe you’re too attached or too comfortable to really jump ship. One of the biggest stressors can be love issues and dating. Sometimes we yearn for love so desperately we settle into situations that we know are not for the best. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and it’s important to try to work through issues when you are in a marriage or a more serious relationship if the pros outweigh the cons and you are both committed. However, some of us are in dysfunctional relationships with a lot of intense emotional highs and lows. Maybe you’re in a relationship where you have been cheated on repeatedly or you yourself have cheated on several occasions. Obviously, this is toxic for both people involved. One person is functioning as a doormat who is willing to accept sub-par treatment while the other person is acting in a careless selfish manner and should probably be single for a while until they are truly ready to commit. Either way, we need to learn when to detach ourselves from these types of relationships and learn that it will be painful but time heals all wounds. It will not be the end of the world if you have to take time for yourself and jump back into the dating game later. Toxic relationships can absolutely destroy our sense of peace because everyone wants someone to love and trust and will do anything to have someone they can call their own.

4. Being a doormat- In order to have a peaceful life, you have to know how to deal with conflict in a way that does not leave you in a rut, with feelings of guilt, or feelings of rage. It is not wise to always avoid conflict. In some situations, it is important to voice your opinion or to set boundaries with people who are violating you in some type of way. People who hold negative emotions in for a long period of time will become resentful and can be at risk at snapping at any given moment. Now, snapping may be an extreme example but you never know. The point is, know that you are important and know that you matter. Set boundaries with people, avoid being taken advantage of, and advocate for yourself in uncomfortable situations. It gains you the respect you deserve. Everyone in the world does not have to like you. Being a “people pleaser” is not a way to gain meaningful connections with others. Speak up in a tactful way. Don’t be a “yes man or yes woman.”

5. Constant worry- Face it, there are in things in life we cannot control. We have to live life to fullest and not have a pessimistic attitude. There will things be things that occur that are painful but there is always a time when we rise from these moments with the help of time. When we worry about our futures or the unknown we cause unnecessary stress on ourselves. If you take worrying too far you could end up with constant feelings of anxiety which can prevent you from living normally. When we have a positive attitude and shrug off issues that aren’t too big of a deal we allow ourselves to worry about more important things that matter. Sometimes you have to step into the unknown to discover new things about yourself and discover new opportunities. Worried about taking a new job? Weigh the pros and cons or talk to close friends and family about your concerns. You don’t have to take on stressful situations alone and getting input from others can help us to problem solve. Worried about not being successful? Start planning what you want to achieve and how you will achieve it. Take a few risks. As the saying goes, “no risk, no reward.” And as the other saying goes, “You can’t keep doing the same things and expect different results.” Stop worrying, get bold, and watch your life change.

Take Care

Love the right way

Love-wallpaper-9930151There always comes a day when you will be sitting by yourself with your feet up, nothing on television and all of your favorite songs are played out. No one is calling you, your phone is dry. You will have no choice but to sit there and just think, if only for moment.

What things do you think about when you’re sitting alone and you start to contemplate on recent decisions you have made? When it comes to matters of the heart, how often do you reflect on past relationships or your current relationship? Or do other things take priority?

Let’s just say you decide to think about your love life because it just isn’t where you would like it to be. In my humble opinion, it seems that people have become quite immature about the whole concept of having a relationship in general. Is it because a lot of people come from broken homes where they have no true example of what companionship is supposed to look like? Maybe. I mean, how can you duplicate something you’ve never really seen? You most certainly cannot use movies as a guide because it just isn’t realistic. Unfortunately, romantic films and Disney movies do not prepare women for the reality of how many men view and express love.

More time should be spent evaluating the romantic and intimate relationships that we are in. Some people are rushing into situations for the sake of having someone and are ultimately unhappy. Who are you trying to impress? Why do people stay in unhealthy relationships for the sake of saying they have someone? Who are you trying to impress? This is the quickest way to end up in a dead end situation where you don’t have the guts to get out of because you settled and drug an innocent party along with you for the ride.

Healthy relationships take a while to develop. When you’re getting to know someone, obviously, you have to give it time before each of you truly feel comfortable revealing your true self. After this takes place, hopefully your differences complement each other and your similarities bring you closer. Hopefully, you both have been honest about yourselves and don’t have any other people in your lives that you are entertaining on an intimate level. This is a big thing in 2014, there are too many people with something on the “back burner” for a lonely night or as a back-up plan. When you find someone special, take the risk, cut off that irrelevant baggage of a situation that was lingering, and get focused. When you truly invest your time in one person, it truly pays off. At the foundation of every loving relationship is a true friendship that begin with bonding. Bonding takes time and energy. You can’t spread that too thin.

Be with someone who makes you feel good inside and out. Be with someone who brings out the best in you. Be with someone who inspires you to be better, that can help you see things in a different light. Don’t settle just because you feel it’s time. Don’t settle because the person is “good enough.” Go where your heart takes you. If you’re unhappy or unfulfilled in your current situation, remove yourself. If you feel that you can work towards making your relationship whole again, go for it. At the end of the day, if you’re just going to sit there and be unhappy, you will live to regret it. You may end up making some bad decisions that can hurt other people.

Love isn’t meant to be miserable. Can it be a little dull at times? Sure, sometimes in a long term situation things may get routine. But the movies don’t show you that. Real life will show you that ultimately companionship and someone who has your back until the end is better than the lie movies show where the butterflies never end. Stability and longevity is what real love is.

I want it all though. Butterflies, excitement, routine…I want to stick it out. How about you?

Cheers to love

When Things Begin to Crumble

20140523_172952It seems like you can never be too happy for too long. Just when you feel that everything is beginning to come together, something must fall apart or sometimes it feels as though it is everything falling apart. The worst thing is when you have to sit and watch it happen. It can domino into other parts of your life. It may impact the people you love.

What is that about?

Now, you can be the most optimistic person in the world and try to see the good in all things but in reality, some situations do not have any positives that you see or want to acknowledge.

Sometimes, I feel that I am a pretty strong person emotionally despite being mostly sensitive. Strength is something that continues to grow overtime with me. I have had quite a few experiences that have left me feeling pretty broken. These life lessons are always pretty bitter sweet and the older I get, the more I accept that bad things must happen. I have learned that I cannot truly anticipate tomorrow no matter how many great plans I make. This is why I have decided to steer my life in a more fulfilling direction of exploring the world and making new connections. I want to see as many places I can, laugh as many times as I can, and smell the flowers along the way. Before I become old and can’t move at all. At least then, my memories will be so many that I can just think about those things all day. Smiling.

I decided to write about when it feels like the world is crushing down around you. So many things in life are painful and bitter. So many things in life do not go with our grand plan. We have dreams that we sometimes give up because we have to build a family and we can no longer only be concerned with ourselves. We have relationships that end in the mist of a promotion that makes you wonder did the universe make you sacrifice one for the other? All these thoughts and things we deal with on a daily basis. When things seem to crumble, there are a few things we must remember, if only to keep us sane.

If life were predictable, would it be any fun? If there were no lessons or heartaches to go through, would we become truly a person of character and wisdom? Once you problem solve different areas of your life you’re back in a better place. Hasn’t that familiar place of things feeling right again always came back? It may not feel the same, but the feeling of content eases in. It is up to us to redecorate that place knowing how peaceful and lovely as we need it to be when it returns. Life is a rollercoaster, but you are destined to go back up. When things begin to crumble, let go of the pieces that are no longer necessary and move on. Take the wisdom with you.

Take Care